Do Something

Nothing good comes from just being frustrated, until that frustration leads to action. When we are frustrated about a situation, or our life in general, we block our minds from finding any solutions to those things that can be changed. Our minds get so caught up in a seemingly endless parade of bad things we feel hopeless to ever find a way out.  STOP!!

You can do something to change your situation.  You just have to do SOMETHING!

Something wonderful happens when you  just take action.  Even little things that at first you think won’t matter.  They do…they build. Before you know it, you are taking more action. Bigger bolder steps toward some control, and something better.

My ex and I used to have conversations all the time about the things that frustrated him.  Mostly these were things I was doing.  He would always tell me how he didn’t like this or that…and I would tell him how I felt.  Usually, not always, these conversations would get heated.  These situations are usually caused by a lot of built up frustration (not good) over long periods of time.  In the end I would just tell him… “do something”.  During our counseling sessions…same thing. Constant finger pointing about what I was doing, the pain and frustration it was causing him. (Later we are going to go a little deeper into this ‘you are the cause’ thing) Over and over I would say…Just Do Something.  I can’t help that you are frustrated.  That’s not going to do our relationship any favors.  YOU are the one that must take some action. YOU, not him or her, YOU.
If your house is a mess, one simple thing you can do…clean out one drawer.  Clean it, organize it, put it back together all nice and pretty.  Then revel in a job well done.  It was ACTION.  It was you taking control of a situation that was out of control.  Pat yourself on the back. You deserve some praise (but don’t expect to get it from anyone else). You may be the only one to see what a beautiful thing you did.  NOW, build on it. No need to tackle anything much bigger…just another drawer, or a cabinet, or a closet.  Each time you take action you build your self confidence and the courage to keep moving forward.  Each and every time remind yourself that you are taking control and let it keep rolling.

It’s a bit harder with relationships.  Mostly because we get caught in the idea that if only the other person would change, everything would be better.  It seems hopeless because more than likely, they are not going to do anything.  My ex used to tell me “I can’t do that.” .  Well honey, if you can’t do anything, then I guess it’s up to me. Think about one thing that you can do, that would make YOU feel good, and impact the relationship in a positive way.  Stop focusing on all the things that are going wrong, or what he/she isn’t doing…just think of one thing that you can do.  Do something completely from your heart that is in the right direction towards a positive.  Just one thing.

Personally, with my ex, I did those things he told me would make him happy.  After 15 years of doing that, and still getting no positive results, I realized that it was not those little that would make him happy, it was something much bigger something deeper.  Doesn’t take away from my action…just lends itself to the bigger issues.  Example: When we were first married, he had an issue with my shoes being all over the house.  I got a shoe rack.  Situation resolved.  Well…not exactly.  Time after time there would be something else to complain about.  No matter how many times I fixed the “problem” he would find another.  Bottom line is that there was a much deeper issue than the shoes, only I just didn’t know it at the time.  The difference between the two of us…I was willing to take action to have a better life, and he wanted to just wallow in the frustration of life not being what he wanted.

Taking action isn’t about making someone else happy.  It’s about you taking control and letting go of the frustration.  You can’t make someone else do that.  If you’re lucky, the result will be a happier, more fulfilled you.  Sometimes that is enough to help get a relationship moving in the right direction..  Sometimes it is not enough.  Do NOT let that discourage you…All I’m asking you to do is take some action yourself.  No expectation that it will make a difference to someone else…but that it will make a difference inside of YOU.

I have given you a couple of ideas…You are capable of coming up with your own.  Just start by letting go of the feelings of frustration and start to focus your mind on solutions.  If you give your mind some space, it will begin to find the steps that you can take.

If, for any reason, you are unable to clear your mind enough to get an idea…shoot me your problem.  Pick something that causes you to be frustrated, and we’ll see if together, we can’t come up with one small step you can take toward the right direction.  It’s often easier for someone to look at it from the outside rather then when we are up to our eyebrows in something.  Give it over…just please have the courage to take some action!

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6 thoughts on “Do Something

  1. Dawn,

    Nice post! Reminds me of something I heard once that said, “Life accumulates.” Things add up over time but first you have to “Do Something!” Thanks!

    Kurt

  2. Wow, this is high school physics all over again. Laws of inertia definitely apply here: objects in motion stay in motion; objects at rest stay at rest. To get out of the rut, it’s important to do something, anything. Even if it is not the “right” thing, then the momentum you have going will let you change gears so much easier than from a dead start.

    Thanks for reminding us all to start living the life we have (and improving it!) rather than complaining that it isn’t the life we want.

    1. Ah Tammy…if only we paid more attention in HS! Thanks for your wonderful reply!
      I agree about the “even if it is not the “right” thing” …sometimes something is better than nothing. I’ve sure made a lot of wrong moves in my life, but I’m still moving…more chances!!
      xoxo

  3. Hi Dawn! Congratulations on the launch of your blog! I’m so happy I’ll be able to follow your life-embracing journey!! Kudos for doing something special!

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