YES!! I am paying attention!

Those messages just keep coming through to me….Reminders, confirmations, suggestions… I don’t always like them, but I’m always grateful that they are there.

This week has been very enlightening.  It seems, even when I’m most confident about my personal progress…there is still some work to be done.  This week was apparently the time for me to let go of control.  Haha…ME????  Several message came through this week about control…and letting go of it.  For some crazy reason I thought I had done that.  I really believed I was flowing though and releasing any need to control anything.  Until I got those messages, I wasn’t aware of it, and so I started to dig in deeper.  There was a little disbelief, but I found it.  Yep, I was in a state of control.  Wow…I was really surprised about how much I  was trying to manipulate and control….It was subtle, not the in your face kind of control, but it was certainly there.  I laughed at myself, and at the Universe for making me aware of it.  Message received….Thanks!!

The second lesson for me this week has been about removing blocks.  Blocks are those little ingrained thoughts in our head that tend to derail our progress toward whatever we desire.  This week’s blocks were focused on money and relationships.  I believe with all my heart, you bring about what you think about.  Sending those vibrations out into the world will bring more of the same vibrations back to you…What is it that you WANT to be receiving, and what exactly ARE you sending out.

I have been trying to use that time right before I go to sleep to really focus on my desires and clearing out the blocks that are holding me back.  I think about my true desire and send it out…and like a crazy ninja those old negative messages knock it right back down.  Shit.  Where in the hell did that come from???  I thought I was already rid of you…no? Ok, guess what, you’re days are numbered.  Haha.  I am going to delete you from my subconscious once and for all…so pack your bags, ready or not you are no longer welcome in my head.

Block one: Money~you are not good enough to receive it.  If you ask for too much, you are just being greedy.  I did an online seminar about removing these money blocks.  I knew the first one for sure…but the greedy one was a little bit of a surprise.  When I tried to focus on how much money I really wanted…how much would it take to put my desires within reach, I held back.  I could only ask for just enough to make my life bearable…Not enough to really do those things my heart desires like travel and volunteering.  My brain could only ask for the bare minimum to survive.  Ugh! I realized this and thought….YOU IDIOT!! (Cruela Deville’s voice ringing in my head).  You are worth more, you deserve more, you will receive more….if you ASK FOR MORE!!!  You want to take your kids traveling more…give them those once in a life time experiences!  You want to be able to go and feed a starving village, help build homes for towns struck by disaster! You want to teach your kids that giving is very rewarding…but you can’t do the things you really want, if all your asking for is the minimum to keep you’re head above water.  You are not asking to be selfish…or greedy…you are asking so that you can give more!  Greedy block you have officially been deleted!!

Block two: Relationships.  Men only want you physically.  This one still fascinates me.  It’s one that held me back before I got married (and is one of the reasons I latched on to my ex husband even when I knew we were not right for each other) and holds me back now as I try to embrace “dating”.   One night I tried to focus on this one…tried to send out the vibration of a warm loving relationship.  When out of the darkness like a fucking rocket this disgusting thought smashed down my pretty little image.  I said “I am deserving of a loving relationship!” it said “ha-ha, guys only want to fuck you, they don’t want to “be” with you!”  Dammit….try again! “I am deserving of a loving relationship!” ” NOPE…they only want to sleep with you!” Damn Damn Damn…stop doing that!!  I must have tried for at least 15 mins to shut that damn message down…Eventually I just gave up.  I’m not sure the exact moment this stupid idea was implanted in my mind…but it’s been there since High School…and apparently it’s been quite comfy lodged in my subconscious.  Well…you too have been marked for permanent deletion.  There is not longer room for you there…you are finished.

Being aware of these blocks is the first step to smashing them to pieces.  They’re only purpose is to keep you from living your life to the fullest…and are usually planted in your mind from someone who thought very little of themselves, and need to you feel the same.  It’s done.  I no longer need to continue that story…I am better that that!  Time now to create better stories to tell myself.  Stories that empower me! Build me up to my highest most beautiful potential.  It’s not too late….

I am worthy of all that my heart desires.  This includes, but is not limited to, money and love.  I am the creator of my destiny…Now is the time!

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