There has been a lot of things happening in my life right now. When I originally considered this post I was going to title it “Sometimes when things blow up, it’s the best thing that could ever happen!” After running through my thoughts this morning I realized that all of it is about the choice to let things control you…or not.
Recently things have really gone bad at my job. Bad in a sense that it is no longer the place I look forward to going to…and has become the place I can’t get out of fast enough. When I talked about this with my friend she said, “well you always knew you would have to eventually leave…this just gives you that extra push”. Soooooo right on the money. Truth is, there was a day I wanted to walk into my boss’s office and just say “I quit!” and leave. That would not have been the best course of action…however, it would have felt good at the moment.
Over the last few months I’ve had more than a few things fall apart, more than a few revelations, more than a few “oh shit” moments. What I realized was that there was still a small part of me that was blaming…instead of taking responsibility. I’m not doing those things I know I need to do, and complaining about not getting the results I desire. Sound familiar??
This morning things cleared up mentally for me. I realized I had to take my own damn advice, and look at the things that were happening and seeing what and why I was being faced with these particular challenges. I came up with the simple fact I was holding on to my own stubborn ways, and not paying attention to the lessons the Universe was handing me. What I know for sure (nod to Oprah) is that until I truly listen…they won’t stop coming.
Today begins a new day…and a new fresh perspective. I have some things that I need to do, and one of them is to stop blaming anything and take some damn responsibility for myself. IE…put on my big girl panties and rock my own world.
The other day, a coworker sent me a message about something she read that reminded her of me
“When the warrior is present and awake to all that she is, she is able to take on any challenge, any project, or any future that she desires.”
I should have that tattooed on the back of my hand so I don’t forget. I am the warrior…and now is the time to be awakened.