Dating part 4
One thing I hope by telling all of you this is 1. That I am NOT the only one who has had some of these issues. 2. Maybe I can save you some time and frustration.
It has taken me a good year to year and a half to really start to see the humor in all this. Some of it is a little disturbing, some of it is heartbreaking, and some of it is just down right awful. It took a while for me to stop taking everything personally and start seeing that it is not me…it’s them. I am one hell of a catch; I just have a problem with my casting.
There is something different about online dating. We are disconnected. With this age of technology we are missing some person to person skills. Now, I would like to say that it’s just the younger generation, but it’s not. It’s not a guy thing or a woman thing. I’m not that smart to figure out why or where it started or if there is any hope for mankind in the future…but people are just different.
Things I get from online/texting that I’m SURE I would not get on a face to face date with someone.
“Package” shots. You know what I mean. Guys apparently really like to take and send pictures of their manhood. This comes completely unsolicited. Now mind you, I’m not one of those women who thinks a guy’s dick is ugly or disgusting…BUT, I don’t need some guy that I’ve had a few text/emails with sending me a picture of his. I remember the very first one I got. I stared at it for quite a while before it really sunk in what it was. The lighting was bad and it wasn’t like I had any warning or anything…just “ding” there it was. My response was “Please do not ever contact me again.” He did, a few times, over a couple of weeks. What an idiot. My mistake was thinking this was isolated. I’ve gotten so many package pictures I have joked to my friends that I should have saved them all and made a book. Seriously I’ve probably seen pictures of at least 100(maybe only slightly exaggerated)…and from guys in their early 20’s to guys well into their 40’s. 95% of them were sent without my asking. **Lesson** Guys like their stuff.
Now my question is, what do they expect me to say? Is there an appropriate response to getting one of those? Am I supposed to be all “oh my, please come to my house immediately and have your way with me!!” ? Or maybe I’m supposed to think they are quite the “catch” based on package alone, and not content. I’m not shy… I’ve asked too. The answer I get is usually “I don’t know” and “why, don’t you like it?”. WTF?? You don’t know why you felt the need to send me a picture of your erect penis? Or even worse…limp one? Should I have been all impressed and said “Oh, did I do THAT??” giggle? Really guys…stop it. If a lady wants to see what you got, she’ll let you know. At one point I even told a guy…”when you do that you take the excitement out of being intimate with someone. Where’s the joy in finding out what you got and how it works if I’ve already got a few pictures on my phone?” He had nothing to say. Stupid. Oh, and yes, I do show them to my friends. We laugh. Listen, I’m not going down this crazy road alone!!
Want more evidence we are disconnected??? Guys will ask you about your sex life, or tell you about ladies they’ve been with very quickly. They want to know if you like sex, what you like, if you’ll do anal, will you lick their ass, can they lick yours, would you be interested in a threesome, what’s your favorite position…and so on. Sometimes these things come up before they even ask you for your name. There are days I think online dating is just a way for guys to get sex without paying for it like they used to have to. I had one guy ask me if I’d meet him in a parking lot because I told him I was NOT going to be inviting him to my house before I even met him. Um, no dude, I’m not interested in meeting you in a parking lot for a quick fuck. Sorry…
There are a lot of married or attached guys looking for a little extra circular activity too. Um, no thank you, but good luck. I get a bunch of FWB messages. Did you even bother to read even the first line of my profile… That would be a No! It’s a no because most of these guys are, well, I want to be politically correct here and not offend anyone (since obviously people care about whether they offend me) but these guys are UGLY. At least once a week I get the “wanna fuck” message. This week I got the best one as of yet…
Him “Pleeeeeese sit on my face” Me “ um, no”
Him “I’ll let you pee on me” Me “ Ew, no thank you”
Him “In my mouth” Me “move on buddy, move on”
Seriously I kid you not. He was in his late 20s, not bad looking either. I’m confused.
This is just a taste of the life of the online dater…
Next up…Cougars are HOT!