Dating part 7/I don’t know how much more I can take

So I started out this week with two dates set up.

The first was a 48 year old professional.  We had chatted on line since the first of the month…about 3 times.  Finally we set a date.  The day of he cancelled.  Late meeting at work…Ok.  I was my usual understanding self and offered to write him a note if he needed it.  After 3 days he never offered to rescheduled.   During that time, however, he was online every day.  On day four I sent him a message.  “Hey ****, sorry you couldn’t make our date on Thurs.  Apparently there’s no real interest so I think I’m going to move on.  No hard feelings and I wish you the best.”  His response “ok, good luck to you.”  Yes, good luck to me.

What the hell.  Really??  I’m not gross.  I’m not crazy.  I’m a good looking normal loving woman who just wants to meet a man and see if there’s a connection.  What are men looking for?  Does online dating give them too many options?  Are they just looking for something better and better?  I don’t know, but seriously, I just want to get out and see.  What is one hour of your time to see if there is any interest?

Next…

The second date was a 40 year old carpenter.  Not a great picture, no smiling.  I hate when they aren’t smiling.  Most guys say they think they look stupid when they smile… Um, honey, if you’re with me you’ll be smiling…I would really like to know what that looks like.  Anyway, this guy was not what I typically would have gone for, but I’m not just talking the talk, I’m walking the walk.  We set up for Friday.  He called, twice.  He offered to meet at a place of my choosing, close to me.  When I got there he really didn’t look like his picture.  He looked a little older and a little heavier.  I was already to run…but I’m no scaredy cat so I continued.  The place I picked was packed…he asked if I wanted to wait, or go somewhere else.  Somewhere else please.  On the way out I texted my friend to call in an hour, just in case I needed an “out”.  On to location number two, much less crowded, perfect for talking.

The guy was actually very nice.  Our conversation flowed quite nicely.  He didn’t try to intimidate me and didn’t seem intimidated by me.  He did tell me he was surprised I said yes and wondered why I decided to go out with him…I was honest and open about truly trying to open myself up to new experiences.  Even though everything was going well, I wasn’t feeling much of a romantic connection.   You know how us woman are, we know if we’re going to sleep with the guy in the first 5 mins.  Sometimes we know that will NOT be happening 10 mins after that.  He told me he had a good time and would like to see me again.  I told him I had a few other dates lined up, and I would let him know.

For me, it is easier to let go if I know they are interested in someone else than that they just weren’t that into me.  Maybe that’s not how everyone is…   Something inside me wants to know why, what is it that you don’t like?  Was I not flirty enough? Too flirty?  Was I not pretty enough?  Did I talk too much?  I tend to over think it…just a bit.  However, if you tell me that you found someone else then, I don’t seem to have the same reaction.  I can just move on.  So, I try to do the same for others.  Maybe it’s not the best way, but it does seem to work for me.

Over the weekend I reconnected with someone I had talked to before.  It’s nice.  We’re planning on meeting this weekend.  He’s 36 and very cute.  Hopefully it’ll work out cause honestly I’m starting to get warn out of this shit.  I’m ready to throw in the towel and just give up.  For now, I’m hanging in just a little longer.

So after I sent the message to blow off date number one, I got a message from another guy.  Lives about an hour away, and I didn’t really find him all that attractive.  I told him I was looking for someone closer to home…being nice and not just blowing him off (cause I hate when people do that to me).  He said it wasn’t that far, and that he works in my town sometimes.  Oh, what do you do?  He told me…but honestly, I wasn’t really interested.  I told him that I had a few things going and I wasn’t going to start something new until I gave these a chance.  He asked me for my number… Soooo, I told him I wasn’t ready to get all confused texting with another guy when I already had my hands full, so I would just wait.  He said why, he talked to lots of people on here.  Again, I said I just wanted to see how these others played out before I stated something new.  I was being respectful.  Then he shoots back that he’s looking for a long term relationship and that he thought I was the one.  Now I’m getting a little annoyed,  I said “I guess not”.  THEN he comes back again and says that in his profile it states that he isn’t into players who talk to him but don’t want to get to know him.  Um…dude, I told you I wasn’t interested right now.  I wrote him back to say that I explained in the very beginning that I wanted to see how these other men worked out before starting something new.  I was being respectful to these men who had already set time aside for me.  I was sorry that respect was over his head.  Thank you and goodbye.  I hit send…I had been blocked. WTF! Asshole.

I guess I’m back to just blocking guys I’m not interested in.  You can’t be nice and say I’m not going to play games. You can’t say thanks but no thanks.  Some guys, dare I say MOST guys just can’t take it.  One guy sent a message that I didn’t answer right away…within in 10 mins he sent another one with the whole “I guess it’s too much to just respond.”  Ouch.  Um, I know this dating thing is tough.  I’ve been ignored more often than not.  I would say I’ve gotten maybe two replies to messages I’ve initiated, and I’ve initiated a ton.  I don’t then go back and get all shitty.  They didn’t respond…oh well, they aren’t interested.  I’m disappointed but I move the fuck on.  I had one guy send me a lengthy FWB message.  I said no than you.  He wanted to know why, I said I wasn’t interested, that wasn’t enough.  Seriously, no fucking thanks.  Ugh.  Can’t be nice…

So the search continues…but I’m not really sure for how much longer.

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3 thoughts on “Dating part 7/I don’t know how much more I can take

  1. I couldn’t agree more! Men have a really hard time with rejection. Sure, not all of them…but the majority of the men that I’ve straight up rejected have ripped me a new one! They go on a long rant about how shitty I am as a person and blah blah. I had one guy tell me “well you’re just a fat cow anyways. You’re just going to end up alone.” Ugh, really? Thanks for showing me that I didn’t make a mistake in rejecting you.

    Don’t give up yet. Just keep at it! Somebody will come along eventually 😀

  2. It’s interesting to see how it is on the other side of the dating pool. If it helps, I’ve had the same exact things happen to me before. I’ve had a girl set up a date, cancel and say she wanted to reschedule only to have it never happen. One girl even offered to reschedule a dozen times (that’s no exaggeration). Some people are just flaky.

    It’s hard not to take things personally, but you can’t. I met a lot of weirdos when I was dating. Of the girls I’ve dated, I ask about their experiences in the dating world and they’ve told me similar stories to you.

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