Here is something I’ve learned about men. When the do something that doesn’t work they don’t do it again. Take for instance the guy who is uber romantic….he buys his lady flowers, cards, takes her to romantic dinners and showers her with love and attention. Now take this guy’s woman, and say she was never satisfied with any of his gifts or the adoration he showed her. Then lets say she cheated on him or dumped him or just plain berated him until finally the relationship ended. That guy would probably say to himself “Well look at that. I did all this for her and she treated my like shit. I’m never going to do that again!” So, he doesn’t. Next woman comes along and she doesn’t get the cards and flowers. She doesn’t get the romantic dinners or the loving attention from this man. Why? Well, simply put…been there, done that…didn’t work.
What he fails to realize is that the woman he showed all the love and attention to was probably just an asshole. She more than likely had her own issues and was just not able to receive the adoration from this man. Unfortunately, instead of thinking it was HER problem, he figures it’s just not something that works, so the next woman get’s screwed. Why would he bother putting in all that effort if he’s just going to end up getting dumped?
I’ve seen this happen several times. My ex was like that. I though he just wasn’t the romantic type until I saw pictures and heard stories about his past romantic gestures. Why couldn’t he do those things for me? Well, because the woman (or girl as it was his HS sweetheart) had treated him like a doormat and eventually dumped him. So apparently all that romantic shit didn’t work.
I got screwed.
Now…we women have a slightly different approach when it comes to relationships. Too often we do the same damn thing over and over and wonder why the hell we can’t seem to keep a man. What WE fail to realize is that sometimes we are a little bat shit crazy and smother our man or demand every ouch of his attention at all times until he can’t stand it anymore and the relationship ends. Then we say “well he was just an asshole. I’ll find someone who appreciates who I really am”…. Admit it…you’ve done that 😉
What we woman fail to realize is that sometimes WE are the asshole and men don’t really like to be attached at the hip to a woman…no matter how awesome and beautiful we are. So when the next (chump) comes along….we do the same damn shit, ending up with the same sad ending.
They get screwed.
I know a lot of smart beautiful women. I think I am one of those. Sometimes we become completely different creatures when it comes to relationships. We play the same games over and over getting the same damn results and cry “FOUL”!! I’m not a game player myself…but I know for sure I can get a little obsessive. For those of us who truly want to end the madness…we have to be honest with ourselves.
STOP MAKING THE SAME FUCKING MISTAKES! And for the LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IN THIS WORLD…stop blaming every guy.
I don’t know if any guys read this…but if you do, do me a favor. Don’t hold the next woman responsible for the mistakes of the last one. Ladies, stop treating every guy like they are the same, and that they “get” you…they don’t get us, and that’s ok. If we really want to have a loving healthy relationship, we have to get out of old patterns. Be honest with yourself…follow your heart. If it doesn’t work, well….don’t give up. There will be other chances….
That is all.