Somewhere between madness and sanity….

So I’ve had my online profile up for about a week. I’ve already blocked 25 guys. Mostly because I just don’t want to deal with the crap messages when I don’t want to respond because I’m not interested. Sometime I’ll say thanks when they compliment me…sometimes I just delete the message. There are times I get multiple messages even though I don’t respond. I get it buddy…this shit ain’t easy.

Let’s see I’ve gotten several “your stunning” or “your beautiful” messages, one “I want you” to which I responded with “NO” and then blocked. There was the guy who sent the nice poem like message, referencing one photo where it looks like you can see a lacey bra, but it’s really just part of the top, I didn’t respond. Then there was the guy with no picture (I’m still leery from the last one) where he was looking to grab a drink and meet. I visited his profile and saw that he was looking for discretion and casual sex. I told him I felt that he was married, and I’ve had enough casual sex, so no thanks. I was right…fucker. There have been several much older men, black men, Asian and Hispanic guys, which I’m not interested in. Once and a while I’ll get the “hi” which I kind of think is lame, till I realize I just “flirted” with a guy instead of sending a genuine message.

Honestly I don’t even know why I opened myself up for this crap. I’m not into it…I really don’t know what I want right now. I’m bored…which means I’m looking for some entertainment. So far nothing. I block, and block and block. There is a part of me that hopes that some sort of “diamond in the rough” will find it’s way to me…but honestly I’m not holding out much hope for anything at all. Being bored sucks. Online dating sucks.

Everyday it’s a balance between madness and sanity. I want, but I don’t…I need, yeah not really. Help me please. I need to get out of the house for one thing…but I’m broke and clueless as to what to do. I imagine myself in some romantic movie where I decide to venture off to a town I’ve never been…exploring on my own and run into the man of my dreams. Oh wouldn’t that be nice. I however don’t have that kind of luck…does anyone? Shit, I’m sure there are women out there who don’t seem to have trouble attracting men who want to spoil them and actually DATE them. Not me.

I’m not going to wallow in self pity, I know I put myself in this position all on my own. It seems like I need to shake things up a bit…but there is a part of me that fears just more of the same lameness….I’m sick and tired of the lameness. I need another one night stand like I need a hold in my head. Again, I’m just bored.

Maybe it’s time to paint the diningroom. That would certainly shake things up… Ha! I kill myself sometimes.


9 thoughts on “Somewhere between madness and sanity….

  1. I met my first real love relationship online, when that ended I thought I could do it again. Well either I changed or theres just more creepers out there now. I ended up deleting all my online dating site accounts. Not only is it hard work to keep up online dating, but when they are mostly dead end creepers, not good.

    1. There are certainly a lot of creeps…seems like most guys are just looking to get laid. I’m not sure if I’m just burnt out, in love and won’t admit it, or if I’ve changed and this crap just doesn’t suit me. No matter what, since there are not eligible men waiting around in my back yard, I will let it ride…Until I’ve had enough. Might want to take bets on how long it lasts this time. Ha.

  2. I started getting real tired of the online dating too. Mostly I read profiles for a laugh. Men (and women) are very shallow. You are correct about the majority wanting casual sex. I honestly felt I was the only honest one on there! All my pics were recent and I was very open about what I wanted and didn’t want. It’s a scary world out there for single people.

    1. I had one guy tell me I needed to work on my personality…because I was not showing any interest in him. Geez…Right now I’m going strictly for the entertainment value…perhaps I will be surprised.

  3. I find your tale is almost novel worthy. As I’ve stated previously, I find you to be very introspective. You also share your story, warts and all. I think that element of truth and vulnerability, makes your story so interesting. The difference between your story and a novel, is that we can actually “yell” and warn our heroine “DON’T OPEN THAT DOOR!!”

    1. Haha…fear not, I yell at myself all the time. It’s always easiest to see how things are unfolding when viewing from the outside…I’m hope you enjoy my writting and I always find it best to be as true as possible.

  4. There are some weird ones online that is for sure But I’d say hang in there, even if you just check in from time to time, but yeah definitely a balance between madness and sanity.

  5. Oh the loveliness of online dating 🙂 It’s simply the best people watching you can do without having to go anywhere or spend any money!! Entertainment at it’s almost finest.

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