So I’ve had my online profile up for about a week. I’ve already blocked 25 guys. Mostly because I just don’t want to deal with the crap messages when I don’t want to respond because I’m not interested. Sometime I’ll say thanks when they compliment me…sometimes I just delete the message. There are times I get multiple messages even though I don’t respond. I get it buddy…this shit ain’t easy.
Let’s see I’ve gotten several “your stunning” or “your beautiful” messages, one “I want you” to which I responded with “NO” and then blocked. There was the guy who sent the nice poem like message, referencing one photo where it looks like you can see a lacey bra, but it’s really just part of the top, I didn’t respond. Then there was the guy with no picture (I’m still leery from the last one) where he was looking to grab a drink and meet. I visited his profile and saw that he was looking for discretion and casual sex. I told him I felt that he was married, and I’ve had enough casual sex, so no thanks. I was right…fucker. There have been several much older men, black men, Asian and Hispanic guys, which I’m not interested in. Once and a while I’ll get the “hi” which I kind of think is lame, till I realize I just “flirted” with a guy instead of sending a genuine message.
Honestly I don’t even know why I opened myself up for this crap. I’m not into it…I really don’t know what I want right now. I’m bored…which means I’m looking for some entertainment. So far nothing. I block, and block and block. There is a part of me that hopes that some sort of “diamond in the rough” will find it’s way to me…but honestly I’m not holding out much hope for anything at all. Being bored sucks. Online dating sucks.
Everyday it’s a balance between madness and sanity. I want, but I don’t…I need, yeah not really. Help me please. I need to get out of the house for one thing…but I’m broke and clueless as to what to do. I imagine myself in some romantic movie where I decide to venture off to a town I’ve never been…exploring on my own and run into the man of my dreams. Oh wouldn’t that be nice. I however don’t have that kind of luck…does anyone? Shit, I’m sure there are women out there who don’t seem to have trouble attracting men who want to spoil them and actually DATE them. Not me.
I’m not going to wallow in self pity, I know I put myself in this position all on my own. It seems like I need to shake things up a bit…but there is a part of me that fears just more of the same lameness….I’m sick and tired of the lameness. I need another one night stand like I need a hold in my head. Again, I’m just bored.
Maybe it’s time to paint the diningroom. That would certainly shake things up… Ha! I kill myself sometimes.