Seems that I really am not into this internet dating crap. At least not for now. I got some shit to do and I’m letting this whole idea of finding a partner get in the way of all of that. Besides…I think I need some time to mend my broken heart. Eh…it’s not really broken per say. It’s cracked…bruised, but not broken.
The 51 year old who cancelled on me never messaged back to reschedule. The musician never message to see if I was coming out to see him. The dick pix guy texted to see if I was alive, I said no, and we had an interesting conversation about my funeral. The other late 20 something wanted to know when I had sex last, so I told him my situation. Haven’t heard back from him. There were 4 more young guys who swore they were different. One guy who asked if I wanted to chat, he wasn’t very attractive so I respectfully declined. He said ok…then proceeded to give me “date” feedback (which you have to be a paying member to see) and blocked me so I couldn’t ask him why. I still have the boat pilot who checks in briefly, so I guess we’ll have to wait and see about that one.
My heart is just not into finding someone else. I’m hooked on feelings for someone that I’m not over and I’m making a lot of excuses instead of just letting myself heal. For better or worse, right or wrong…My heart sill yearns to be with this man. So instead of trying to fill my time with someone else, I really don’t want to be with, I decided it was time to focus on myself for a little bit.
I deleted, not just hid, my online account. Apparently it screams “MILF” or “Cougar” and not woman worth having a meaningful relationship. It’s only bringing more of the same empty offers. I need to change it up and take different pictures if I want to generate genuine dating requests, not just guys who think I’m hot and want to satisfy me like no one before. Geez….I’d be a rich woman if I had a nickle for every time I got that message. Really guys, I’m good.
So, work on me time. I’ve been lazy and putting off a lot of self care. Now I got a plan…well plans. I’m setting myself up for some personal success. Oh yeah baby. I’m going to work on the jiggle, quit smoking, paint the dining room, re-hang the family room curtains, clean out the spare room….All those things I’ve been putting off for far too long. This shit isn’t going to fix it’self.
Things happen when you least expect it…stop looking and let it find you. That’s my new motto. No more searching for someone or something to fill my life….I got enough for now and I’m going to be happy with just that.