I can’t decide if I’m just a fucking stupid dumbass…or if I’m openly optimistic. Of course I would say I’m just optimistic and forgiving and generally a good person. That may be, but sometimes I’m not sure if I’m missing the “point” or not.
Be straight…that’s all I ask. Be honest and I can totally roll with it. Be vague and dance around shit….I get lost. I don’t like when people talk in circles. My brain isn’t wired for that shit. Eventually I get the point, but it pisses me off, and makes me feel like I’m just a huge idiot. Nobody wants to feel like an idiot, right. That’s the time I want to look someone in the face and say “Listen fucker, I’m not made of glass…I’m a tough chick. Just be HONEST.” and then smack them across the face all dramatic like, walk away and slam the door behind me. What really happens is I end up feeling like an idiot and think to myself…if you had only told me, it wouldn’t have taken me so long to get on board.
These are the moments in my life that I’m not sure I should change and be less optimistic…or less open minded…less trusting and forgiving. I think I’m a good person…I like the way I am, except when I feel like an idiot cause I missed the message completely. I expect people to be just as honest with me as I am with them. I tell people all the time…just let me know, ok. These are the things that make for sleepless nights. Is the message as clear as it seems…am I missing the bigger picture? Grrr….I like to give people the benefit of doubt, and 99% of the time they deserve it. Is this the 1%?
I’m all for lessons and acceptance…but the shit that gets me stuck is when what you say and what you do don’t jive.
I hate this shit. Why don’t people just say what they mean and mean what say? Crap…I need another glass of wine.