So the new guy is going to known as the Bad Boy. He’s young (I just can’t seem to escape them) cute and very very much a bad boy…Like SOA bad. Seems like life imitating art to me. When I found out about his past (and it didn’t take long, he’s like an open book) I was a little taken aback. I mean…really??? He’s very sweet, got his life on the right track…and has goals. I texted a friend about it…and was sure to follow up the list of offenses with “but honestly there are no red flags”. She said…Well, he’s cute. That he is.
Anyway…after our last conversation about NOT looking for a relationship, what transpired this past week came as quite the let down for me. We’d been chatting, trying to see about getting together. I said it was my “night off” and I was looking forward to going out for a drink. He wanted to know if I was buying…if I would buy him dinner too. Um. I said “you know I’m not rich right?” He said “yes, but it would be nice to have a woman buy dinner once and a while.” Ok, I get that…guys feel like their always putting out the cash. Then he said “you know you should try a little harder with me.” This, my dear friends was the first flag.
Try harder…harder for what. We are just two people enjoying each other’s company until he moves out of state in a few months. I’m not ready for a relationship and certainly not with such a bad boy who isn’t even in his 30’s yet. Things got back on track quickly…Whew, cause I was ready to do the classic guy move and just disappear.
Then a good friend of his died. Tragically. He needed a friend so I went over. This loss was very upsetting to him and he talked about his friend, his regrets about recent events…and he cried. I held him and listened. No judgment, just comfort. He’s spent the day drinking his pain away, or at least trying too. I tried to get him to lay down, but he just wanted to talk. He told me over and over again how I was the first woman he had cried that much in front of. I told him it was ok, I wasn’t judging and that it was ok for him to feel the pain of loss. Then he said he really wanted a woman in his life, someone who would love him for who he was, understand where he came from…he wanted a relationship. Um….”I thought you said you didn’t” I said. “I lied”.
I had to go…but told him I would check in on him, and I would be back. He sent me a text after I left saying what he missed most was a woman. Then he said “Love u”. I told him to get some sleep. I know he was hurting, I know he was a little drunk, and I know people say stupid shit in those moments…but seriously. I ended up not making it back to him that night even though I tried. The next day he was a bit short with me. My gut was screaming at me that I needed to get out of this guys reach. I told him I didn’t think I could give him what he needed or wanted. I could be a friend but really nothing more. He denied having said anything, and did like most men do and blew me off. I told him “I do care, very much”. He said “I know”. Things smoothed over and we talked. I just don’t want him to think I’m “that” kind of girl. The kind that will take care of him and love him. I’m not there. I’m not ready.
We went and ran some errands together, nothing big. I dropped him off to watch the game and went about my business. Things seemed to be ok and I felt we had come to an understanding. Then the drunk texts started coming.
Come get me
Please, I need you right now.
I’m sorry, I can’t. Tell me what’s going on.
I’ll tell you something. Goodbye.
What does that mean.
That means I’m done. I can’t.
Don’t text me tomorrow.
Ok. I understand. (at this point I’m thinking it’s probably for the best anyway)
5 mins later.
If you want me to leave you alone I will. But don’t do this.
I need you. Come get me.
That was it. The next day he said he was sorry for telling me not to text him, that I didn’t deserve to be talked to that way…but I didn’t respond.