Death…and detachment.

I’m sad. Very sad. If I were a cartoon character I would be drawn with a long sad face. Turns out my dog was too sick to save…kidney failure. By the time it was detected he was already too far gone to make it right. I had to make that one decision we never want to make. I had to let him go. To say I’m brokenhearted would be an understatement. This has been a hard week for me adjusting to the stillness of our home without our crazy lovable dog. That dog has been with me through the death of my first dog, the death of the last of my grandparents plus my divorce. He is greatly missed.

This week has been quiet and I’ve been doing too much soul searching…if that’s really possible. Letting go when you have no choice makes letting go of other things a little bit easier. A few months ago I wrote a letter to the hunky stallion. It was all those things I wish I’d said but didn’t. The reason I never actually ended up sending it is because I never figured out how I wanted to end it. So it sat on my computer. I finally decided to clean it up and send it off…so I thought. The day came and I put it in the mail box and went to work. When I came home for lunch it was still there…I took that as a sign. Now was not the time…maybe these things were actually better left alone. So I took it out and shredded it. Then I deleted it off my computer.

Time to let go. Let go of whatever I’ve been attached to for far too long. It’s time to get back to those things that make me feel good, accomplished…whole. I’m still grieving…and I need to give that some time too.

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