Parenting is a tough job. Anyone knows that. It’s a constant battle of balance…teaching them and showing them.
My son is a beautiful smart funny kid. He also has absolutely no work ethic, no passion, no desire to learn. Ugh. I struggle myself with missed opportunities, trying to evoke some sense of desire within him to try harder, do better and participate in life. He fights me on it regularly. Thankfully I’m a tough broad, I keep at it.
His father is a sort of ‘jack of all trades’. The man is capable of doing just about anything you can think of. He was quite the handyman at home, and he still is today. He is charismatic and charming and the jokester. He uses humor to get him through stressful situations like having to be around people. His son has picked up this trait fully. What his father is not…is a good teacher. He has not taught him anything.
I have said over and over again that his relationship with our children is what he makes of it. There is nothing I can do or say to make a difference in the way he fathers. It was sad when the kids were little, to watch him dismiss our son so often. Watching those missed opportunities to share and teach and bond with his son. My ex has some issues….like we all do. I got to stand on the outside as well as on the inside and see those issues manifest in his relationship with me and our children. He worked so hard to prove to everyone else he was a wonderful guy…while he tossed us aside to just sit by and watch.
By no means am I saying he was all to blame, or that I was perfect. I have my faults for sure. What I am saying is that I wish, at some point, he had guided that boy like a father should. Teaching him how to do things, showing him. I do my best…and I live with the hope that he will grow and realize how amazing he is and find that passion and desire to do better, and be better. I hope that I’m teaching him something…time will tell.