Letting go and learning to love again…

The one thing that hit me the hardest this year was losing my sweet puppy Chopper. We should have had at least another 5 years together. This would have meant he would have been there for some of the biggest transitions of my life…the last of which would have been to see each of my kids into adulthood. Unfortunately, he will only be there with me in spirit.

It’s been less than two months. The house is quite and a little lonely. Quite moments have lead me to checking local shelters for available adoptions. I spent a few weeks looking…trying to figure out if I wanted to open myself up to the chaos that comes with bringing a new dog into your home. We don’t have the lifestyle for a puppy…As cute as they are, I’m over the puppy thing. If I was going to do this it would have to be an adult dog. Preferable one that was already trained and well behaved.

My philosophy on the pets we bring into our lives is that it is kismet. Something meant to be. If we are not locked into one specific breed, if you are open…you will be drawn to just the right one for you. One day I came across this face. I was immediately hooked. Not ready, right? Fuck it’s cold outside. Besides, I’m not ready to open myself up to the love and patience needed with a new dog. Dammit. The kids were interested and wanted to go see her. I told them I was not sold on the idea of bringing a dog home yet…and they shouldn’t expect to be bringing her home. I’m a sucker. I should have known.

She’s not potty trained. Shit..that was number one on my list. She’s hyper. Mother fucker…well behaved was number two on my list. How many times do I have to be reminded that lists are for suckers. The surest way to get everything NOT on your list…is to make a fucking list. She is extremely lovable, and that makes up for numbers one and two.

So I’ve opened myself up to loving….and I’m ok with that. Chopper would approve. Now it’s time to put all those lessons into other areas of my life.

Let go of what is gone.
Accept that you can and will love again.
Toss the list.
Be open.

In the spirit of being open, I’ve joined yet another dating site. This time I’m taking a slightly different approach and chose a paid site that matches you rather than just listing all the members. I figure that would keep me from making the same damn mistakes. Let’s give a little faith to the experience. So far there has been little interest. All the men that have sent me questions are all wondering if I’m into PDA and if I’m open to pre marital sex. I haven’t answered any of them. There is no one who understands the importance of intimacy and sex in a relationship…but if that’s ALL your interested in, well…no thank you. Those things will not be an issue if there is a true connection between the two of us. So bring on the get to know me questions and we’ll see if we can take it to the next level.

I’m open.

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2 thoughts on “Letting go and learning to love again…

  1. I’m sorry to hear about Chopper 😦 And I hope the new dog helps bring a bit of (chaotic) happiness into your life. My dog was a DISASTER when I first got her as a puppy… she still is, but now I love her and am invested 😉

    Good luck on the new site– I think it’s definitely worth it to use a paying site. It weeds out the Craigslist-esque people. Well, a lot of them at least.

    1. Thank you Aussa…she is certainly given me joy and frustration. I’ll keep her!
      As for the paid site…in over two weeks, there has been no interest. 5.5 more months to go! LOL

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