So I had a nice conversation with my friend about why my sudden desire to tuck my tail and run from all this dating shit. One thing I said was that I felt like being on these dating sites I was trying to force something into my life. I’m a big believer in flow…just allow life to unfold in front of you and be willing to accept what is being offered. That was what I viewed the Hunky Stallion. He was my “reward” for just letting go. Look how well that turned out.
In true “good friend” fashion…she pushed a little more. Bottom line, I’m tied up for 6 months whether I like it or not so I might as well just take advantage of it. She encouraged me to stop running from these decent guys and just put myself out there and see what will happen. It also became apparent to me, if maybe not to her, that I am all over the place with my “excuses”. For some reason I cannot articulate or put my finger on what I’m really afraid of here. Is it to fail or to succeed? Is it to go on date after date and not find any connection or is it that I might actually find someone who enjoys my company as much as I enjoy theirs?
At this point she is right. I paid for 6 months of this crap. No refunds. Even though the only “action” I’m getting is on the free site…I might as well stay and see. Worse case scenario, I end up right where I am now, single and content. Best case, I have a beautiful romance. Either way I guess I’m going to see it through. Might end up with some good stories…at least something worth writing about.