Two hours tops. That’s how much time I was going to give this date. Two hours. My plan was to get in, have a drink or two then say I had to go pick up my kid from a friends…but go to my friends house and complain about how much I don’t want to do this dating crap.
Four hours is how long it lasted. He was good looking, engaging and funny. We seem to be on the same page about where we are in our life and the lessons we’ve learned over the years. Except that I think he is firmly planted on moving forward with a new relationship and I’m still dipping my toes in uncertainty. I do so enjoy a good conversation. At least three times I apologized for talking too much. He laughed and said he was enjoying it. It certainly felt sincere.
So it turns out…I can actually go out on a date, be pleasantly surprised, and not spontaneously burst into flames. The world did not come crashing down around me. He wants to see me again, and I would like that very much. There were no fireworks going off but there was definitely chemistry. He is 47, lives about 30 mins away and sometimes works out of state. An older man…hahaha. Go figure. When we were leaving we hugged and had a quick kiss. Not bad. All in all…good date. I’m glad I didn’t chicken out.
This is outside my comfort zone, obviously. It’s time to embrace the process and just see where it takes me. Gonna do everything I can to not let all the fucked up shit my brain has been focused on keep me from pushing forward.