Consistently in-consistent.

Consistency is the key. That’s what they say.  If you want to make lasting changes you have to remain consistent. I also got this lesson recently from the dog trainer.  In order for her to learn, you must be consistent. (Seems to me this is the current Universal lesson for me. You know how much I like my lessons.)

I am forever…consistently inconsistent.

There is a list of things I would like to accomplish. Things I would like to improve about myself and my life.  All of these things are totally do-able, even for someone as lazy as myself.  The only thing I need to do is be consistent.  Still…these things elude me.  This is completely due to my lack of consistency.

So far this new year has been a peaceful one.  I’ve been able to let go of a lot of negative thinking and some emotional garbage.  I feel lighter…metaphorically speaking since technically I’m heavier after my 8 lb holiday weight gain.

Trying to grasp that concept of building on your successful accomplishments and using it to motivate you to continue has been a life long struggle for me.  I have bursts of genuine energy and have been able to get so many things done…of which has made me feel incredibly proud.  It never lasts though.   Shortly after I revel in my success…I fall back into old lazy patterns.

When I worked at the health club, I worked out with a trainer for 8 months.  I hated ever second of it.  Even so, I worked my ass off…doing everything I was told, exceeding every expectation.  After 8 months I looked good, I felt good.  I’d lost a total of 8 lbs (not huge I know) and 25% body fat (yeah that is huge).  Even women were complimenting me on how good my butt looked.  My hope, was that after all that time invested, I would be able to carry myself through and keep that momentum going.  Nope.

A couple of months ago I bought some new jeans.  I didn’t want to buy new jeans but the one’s I had were starting to get too baggy.  The reason I didn’t want to buy new jeans is because I knew that if I did invest in jeans that fit, it wouldn’t be long before I would out grow them.  What I was hoping was that I would be motivated to keep up the good work since I looked and felt so good in those new jeans.  Nope.

The smoking. Ugh.  I have scheduled myself to quit nearly every single month since October of 2011.  My last quit lasted 8 years.  I felt good at the end of those 8 years, especially when I finally lost most of the 30 lbs I had gained after I quit.  Surely if I could quit after 17 years, I could quit after 2. Nope.

I eat healthy.  Most of the time. However, even though I eat mostly healthy food I eat too much, I give in to cravings and binges even when I’m not even hungry.  Rooms and storage get cleaned and organized only to have me dump things I don’t want to deal with in all my new found space.  The work out  program I set up for myself couldn’t be easier, 15 mins top, and yet too often I spend my time avoiding it.

We change when the pain of remaining the same outweighs the pain of doing something about it.  I’m too comfortable.  It’s too easy.  Nothing is ever going to change for good if I don’t figure out how on earth to stop being so damn lazy and complacent. I want to be thinner and healthier.  I want to fit into those cute jeans and not feel like I’m cutting off my circulation or feeling ashamed of the roll of fat hanging over the band.  I don’t want to smell like an ashtray when I hug my kids or winded cause I had to walk into the other room briskly. It would be so great if I loved the space I’m in instead of just tolerating it.

Something has got to change. Ok, yes, I know that something is ME.  I have to challenge myself to do these things, even when I don’t want to, until they become easy and automatic. That’s the key.  This time I have to do something a little different…try to be consistent.  At this moment, challenge accepted.


2 thoughts on “Consistently in-consistent.

  1. I have a hard time being consistent as well– and when something “works” I always forget to take note of it so that I can repeat that success in the future. I was just talking to my boyfriend about working out and getting into “kick ass” shape this year and he was like “what worked before?” (because I used to be in waaaay better shape than my lazy arse is right now) and I couldn’t really remember. How awful is that? I look back and think “it was easy” but I don’t remember how I stuck to it, at all. But… I’m willing to try again, so… challenge *also* accepted.

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