So, what killed your dream?

Maybe you decided that starting tomorrow you’re going to get up at 5 am and start running. 5 am comes and you reluctantly get up and get dressed only to find out it’s raining cat’s and dogs. Fuck.

Perhaps you’ve decided to finally tackle that long put off home improvement project, only to find out that you are going to have to be putting in extra hours at work and you won’t have the time.

One day you decide that it’s time to start prioritizing your relationship only to find out your partner has been cheating on you and is leaving.

You want to start eating better, so you pack a beautiful healthy salad to take to work…but Fred is retiring and there’s a big office party with tons of unhealthy shit you love.

You want to take your dream vacation…you got laid off your job.

You’re going to start getting to work early to get a head start on your work…car has a flat tire.

You’ve decided to finally go back to school and get your degree… but you get divorced instead and find yourself back in the work force after 15 years and taking care of the house, kids and dog all by yourself.

Fuck fuck fuck!

There are so many more examples.  I’m sure you’ve thought a few of your own.  I know I ran through a long ugly list of mine.  You have a plan, now is the time…something get’s in the fucking way, you freeze.

Dammit.

It’s common, we all do it.  However, those who are successful either do it less often, or get back on the damn horse a lot faster than the rest of us do.  They simply don’t give up, just because it didn’t go as planned.

Think about the first example, running at 5am.  What would you do?  You could say fuck it, and go run in the rain, get on the treadmill or drive to the gym, maybe do something else since you are up and dressed anyway.  If you are determined, the rain won’t stop you, it will just alter your plans a little.

The way I look at it is this…the Universe is watching, and wants to know if you are truly committed, so it  throws in a little test.  Do you let it break you, or do you laugh, change things up and keep moving forward?  If you are like me, many times, you let it break you.  I resign to the idea that it was just not meant to be.  OOOOHHHH maybe you have that ever-favorite conversation in your head “Shit never works out for me”. What I have learned…and sometimes pretended I don’t see, is that when a dream, or a passion or a desire is placed inside of you, it is meant to be.  How many times do you come back to the same thing, only to get stuck by another obstacle and give up…. just to come back to it again? It is yours, take it, just be willing to not let the little shit get in the way.

Another fun obstacle I’ve observed in my life is the need to have approval for moving in on something.  Something tells me, I’m probably not alone in this one either. Yes…this one has played maybe an even bigger role in my lack of follow through than even the unforeseen obstacle.  Mostly it has to do with being around people who always criticiz or belittle your interests.

When I was in my early 30s I decided after a lifetime of being a customer, I was going to be a Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay Cosmetics.  My husband told me to go for it…but it better not cost too much, and my mother agreed to book a party to get me going.  It seemed as though I was getting support, which was rare for me.  After the party, which went about as well as you could expect for a first time, my mother asked her friends what they thought of my “performance”.  Everyone had nice things to say, were encouraging and empathetic.  Then my mom said “No, tell her what you really think.” She proceeded to list out all of my failures, reading to much, not engaging enough, blah blah blah…. All things, mind you, I already knew as I was doing it, but still did my best to keep going.  I knew, it was only a matter of time before I would get a hang of it.  Unfortunately, I took her criticism too hard, and I quit. If I couldn’t get the support and encouragement from my mother, what the hell did I think I was doing?? What I should have done was just  keep going until I got better. I’ll never know whether or not I could be driving that pink Cadillac.

Over the years, I let other people’s lack of support or criticism derail something I was immensely passionate or excited about.  Time and time again I would have an idea, cultivate it and come up with a plan, passionately express that to a loved one, only to listen to all the reasons why it or I would fail.  They might be right, what the fuck was I thinking???

What I needed to do then, and still now, is listen to that part of me that says go for it anyway!!!

Raining on your first run day? Run anyway!!

Long work hours keeping you from working on your project? Take a little time and tackle a small part of the project anyway!!

Partner not interested in prioritizing your relationship? Prioritize your relationship with YOU instead!!

Big office party putting a kink in your nutrition plans?? Enjoy a little of your favorites now, eat the salad for dinner!!

Dream vacation plans pooped on because you lost your job?  Maybe instead of visiting the place of your dreams maybe it’s time you pack up and move there!!!

There is a way around ever fucking obstacle you will run into.  The only thing standing in your way of success is what you do with that obstacle.  It can shut you down, or it can be a tiny little blip.  The hardest thing we will ever do in our life is take that first step towards something we want.  Our lives are made up of opportunities to take that step all the time, and we can choose to take it and get on to the next step, or we can be back looking at that same damn first step over and over again, never getting to step two.

Let me lay a few facts that I have learned.

Step two is easier than step one.  Obstacles clear once you start moving forward.  Obstacles will reappear, but if you are already in motion, they will do less to stop you.

Have faith and be open.  If “this” doesn’t work, that’s ok, just move forward anyway.  Sometimes you will have to change your game plan to get on a better path, but if you are open to possibilities you will most likely get something way better in return.

People who criticize have nothing to do with you.  If you are surrounded by crabby ass people who never encourage you or always put down your ideas don’t do it because your ideas are stupid, but because they don’t have the courage to follow their own dreams.  Spend less time with them, go out and find new people to be around. I promise you there are people out there that will be supportive. If you can’t find anyone right away, I am always here to listen and cheer you on. Seriously.

Pay attention.  If something keeps pulling you in a particular direction explore it.  You never know what you are capable of till you try, the Universe knows what a special person you are so trust it. Often it will lay the ground work for you… Go where your heart goes.

Trying and failing is so much better than never trying at all.  Opportunities are everywhere, more come into view when you are out there doing instead of sitting around waiting.

Don’t wait till someone gives you permission.  If you have a dream, that is all the permission you need to act. You do not ever need someone else to tell you it’s ok, but if you need ask me, I’ll give you the thumbs up.

I have an idea I am working on right now.  As much as I would like to have the support of my friends on this (and I’m not saying I don’t) I know I do not need them behind me in order to get it off the ground.  Maybe it’s not a good time for them.  Maybe they don’t see the big picture. Maybe I’ve proven myself to be a bit of a flake and they need time to see if I’m all talk, or whether I will be taking some action. Maybe it’s about bringing new people into my life.

All I’m saying here is that we all get stuck, and I get it…but let’s not stay there till we’re 95, ok?  However, if your 95 and still haven’t taken that step, get on it!!!! It’s never too late to start.

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